Usually in September it’s a chance to come down from the high of Summer, crank into work mode and grab our routine back. But nope, not this time. As an expat family we choose to navigate our lives by keeping a connection with family back in our origin country while living our life in another. So sometimes for us it looks like family staying over at our house on holiday mode while the children are starting back to school or it can be trips back “home” for multiple peoples birthdays. What I’ve learned looking back at the September we just had, I need to learn how to say “No” and think more about what ‘future Leanne’ would be grateful for. Sometimes I can identify the feeling of being overwhelmed in the moment or predict it, but often it can be when it’s got too much and I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am. A good friend of mine just taught me about J.O.F.O. the antithesis of F.O.M.O. How we can receive joy for missing out, instead of fear. Permission to be relieved, my own counsellor hinted at the same. But why is this so difficult?
What I think is more interesting is exploring where this pressure comes from. Where did we get the idea that we have to do certain things, behave a certain way or always do what we’re told. Whether it’s family expectation or the ‘fear’ of letting someone down. Did you once say “No” and it didn’t go so well? Or maybe you saw someone in your family say “No” and it didn’t feel right? Is there an aversion to authority, pressure to please or be perfect?
When was the last time you asked yourself, what do YOU want to do? Working with a therapist, journalling or finding some time to reflect, might be useful to explore the background of where the ideas come from about pressure and tune into what you want instead 🌻
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