Recently, I watched a lecture by Dr Mollie Rubinstein about the importance of belonging for neurodivergent students in higher education. Not long afterwards, I attended a tattoo convention.
At first, these might seem like two completely unrelated experiences. But walking around the convention, surrounded by people brought together through a shared interest, I found myself thinking about something from the lecture: the importance of finding your people.
We often imagine that “our people” will be those who share the same identity or neurotype as us. For a neurodivergent student, that might mean looking for other autistic, ADHD or otherwise neurodivergent people. That kind of connection can be incredibly valuable—particularly when it offers recognition, understanding and freedom from having to explain yourself.
But belonging does not always begin with a label.
Sometimes, we find connection through the things we enjoy: tattoos, gaming, music, art, sport, books, animals or any of the interests that make us feel engaged and alive. A shared passion can provide a starting point. It gives us something to talk about and a reason to be in the same space, without the pressure of having to create a friendship from nothing.
At the tattoo convention, I was reminded that belonging can grow wherever people gather around something that matters to them. When I was at the convention, I noticed how excited I felt—lifted in a way I hadn’t experienced for a while. Living abroad, away from friends who really “get me,” can bring a particular kind of loneliness that is difficult to fill.
At the tattoo convention, I felt a level of comfort simply from being around the people there. I was allowed to be me. I was allowed to be curious. I was allowed to feel excited about something that interested me.
Of course, there is more to explore around the idea of needing permission to be ourselves—which I’ll save for another blog. For now, I wanted to share this experience because it reminded me how much it matters to find spaces where we feel comfortable, connected and free to be who we are. This matters because loneliness and isolation can have a significant effect on wellbeing. For university students, feeling disconnected can make an already demanding transition even harder. A sense of belonging is not the only factor influencing whether someone progresses through university or considers leaving—academic pressures, finances, health, accessibility and the support available all matter too. But there is an important relationship between belonging, wellbeing and a student’s ability to remain engaged with university life.
For neurodivergent students, “finding your people” may not mean fitting into a ready-made social group. It might mean following an interest, attending an event or finding one space where being yourself feels a little easier.
Belonging does not necessarily come from finding people who are exactly like you. Sometimes, it begins with finding people who light up when talking about the same things you do.
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